#102 - Getting the Negative Out of Your Life

            I talk to people every day about trying to be more positive. The responses are everything from “You just don’t understand how rough things are for me right now,” to “It’s just not realistic to always MAKE everything positive; it simply isn’t.” I want to put forward a DIFFERENT attitude. I have a Spinal and Neck condition that keeps me in pain 24 hours each day. I’m not exaggerating AND I’m not complaining; that is just the truth, the facts. HOWEVER, I see television, magazines, and the Internet, so I also know that all around me, there are people who are MUCH worse off! No matter what you’re condition in life, there is ALWAYS someone with a harder situation, more difficult circumstances, and/or MORE challenges. So I would ask you, what is gained by DWELLING on the depths of your despair, or what you DON’T have? It appears to me that focusing on the negatives in life KEEPS the spotlight on YOU, on SELF. Whereas, investing all your energies on the positives or possibilities in life pulls attention away from yourself, off of what you DON’T have or how AWFUL things are, and gives you SPACE FROM YOUR PROBLEMS so that you can FIND A DIFFERENT VIEWPOINT or SOME FURTHER POTENTIAL that could break up the blockages and discouragements you’ve been unable to avoid. I PROMISE you, if you took ONE MINUTE, you could list off MANY, MANY wonderful blessings that are right under your nose. You might think it’s a little “Cheesy” or childish but here are 6 of my BEST SUGGESTIONS:

            1 - Develop an Attitude of Gratitude – Famed Figure Skater Scott Hamilton has said that for many years when he prayed, he never ASKED for anything from God. Hamilton spent the entire time he was praying and meditating just being thankful for everything in his life, whether good or bad. Boy, do I think we could ALL learn a great life lesson here! I don’t like being in pain but if I can look at my pain as a “gift” that can teach me, and can grow me, I have INSTANTLY increased my POTENTIAL FOR FINDING POSITIVE POSSIBILITIES in my day. The Bible says that “a Joyful Heart is Good Medicine but a broken spirit dries up the bones.” Not that God needs my approval, but I think that statement PERFECTLY encapsulates the benefits and detriments of Positive versus negative thinking in one’s life. If you can begin saying “I am THANKFUL for…” about EVERYTHING in your life, and MEAN IT, your entire outlook, your “Self View” is going to be transformed 180 degrees!

         2 - Slow Down the Onslaught of Stress – Again, this may seem, not only, impossible but impractical. However, a LITTLE extra space/time in your day can make all the difference. My little “Trick” to “Inject a Bit of Peace into Your Stress” is to Count to Ten, and Do It Again. Literally, STOP what you’re doing, and using your ten fingers, INHALE to a count of ten, then, EXHALE to a count of ten. It’s simple, and most people won’t even realize you’ve done ANYTHING, the time passes so quickly.  Those 10-15 seconds give you time to “Re-set”, to adjust, and to THINK about what you want to say and how you want to say it. This might also involve making a Daily Schedule or Plan. Now I recognize that sometimes “things” just happen that are not positive, at least, on the face of the circumstance. However, taking an extra second to think through, to smile, or just to take a breath can be the difference between an explosion of negativity, and a statement of support, encouragement, and/or affirmation. We frequently use the expression, “Give me a minute.” Give yourself that opportunity.  TAKE that minute, and make the most of it!

         3 - Lighten Your Friendship Load – NOTHING can replace a good friend. However, unfortunately, we often find ourselves tied to people who, honestly, don’t CONTRIBUTE POSITIVELY to our lives. Negative people or “The Glass is Half Empty” people tend to attract OTHER negative or “Glass is Half Empty” folks. I suppose we, strangely, tend to hang out with people who are like-minded or, at least, those who don’t fight against who we are. The problem this creates, however, is that if you only have NEGATIVE thinkers in your life, how can you ever hope to accomplish or achieve anything positive? If you genuinely want to make a change in your perspective, it MAY be necessary to “Shed” some of the people who are inputting MORE negativity, rather than lightening your point of view with positive feedback. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND that you can’t just “discard” people; they are not like a random paper cup that you finish using and toss away. But there are definitely people out there that can be “Toxic” to us, as much as any bacterial infection. Sometimes, you have to ask yourself, is this person causing me to be someone I really don’t like or someone that really isn’t “Healthy” for me to be. When you go on a diet to lose weight, you often have to cut certain type of foods out of your daily intake. Occasionally, you need to do something similar with a friend. If a particular friend is chronically negative, and constantly dragging YOU to a dark, pessimistic attitude toward everything, YOU NEED TO GET AWAY FROM THAT PERSON! It will be IMPOSSIBLE for you to change your own perspective if the people around you, fueling your life, are “feeding” you with diseased information and resources that will rob you of joy and satisfaction. For your sake and for the sakes of all those you love, you need to nourish your life with TRUTH, with affirming and uplifting messages and materials, and surround yourself with people who will build you up, not tear you down.

         4 – Practice Gratefulness – Be thankful for EVERYTHING in your life BUT don’t just BE grateful, EXPRESS your gratitude! TELL the people around you WHAT you are thankful for, HOW thankful you are, and WHY you are thankful. It is AMAZING how contagious gratitude is, and how powerfully positive its effects are. Gratitude also has a transformative consequence on your own life. The more you PRACTICE gratefulness, sew it into your hourly and daily routine, the fuller and more productive your life will be. Your overall outlook on life will be more creative, more forward-thinking, and more life-building. Living in an atmosphere and environment of thankfulness positively impacts your own life, but it also greatly affects and influences the lives of those you come in contact with. Just as people who view the world from a “glass is half empty” perspective will tend to attract others with similar outlooks, a grateful, positive-thinking person will often draw like-minded people to their lives. Life begets life.

         5 – Random Acts of Kindness – If you want to begin to transform your life toward a more positive disposition, nothing works better or more quickly than doing something kind for someone else. The simplest “Random Act of Kindness” is a SMILE! There is no gift that costs less or yields more for so many. Sadly, we often think that to DO something kind for another person will require a great sacrifice and even loss on our part but most of the time, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Stopping to help an elderly shopper reach a canned good on a high shelf or opening and holding a door for a mom with small children takes NO time and costs NOTHING. Yet those moments yield remarkable benefits for the recipients, as well as for the person performing the small tasks. There Have been periods of time in my life when I struggled with depression. When you’re depressed, you spend a LOT of time feeling sad about yourself. In fact, most of your energy is very negative, and almost entirely turned inward. It’s easy to understand how this situation can spiral into a seriously debilitating one. However, when a depressed person does something simple like going to a homeless shelter to serve food, or visiting a senior living facility to talk with residents, all of a sudden their energy gets turned outward, listening to someone else’s challenges, or seeing, in person, the issues that other people are dealing with, and, in a moment, their problems shrink, and they realize how blessed they really are.

         6 – Get on the Move – Yep, I’m telling you you’ll FEEL better and more positive if you get up and start moving around. Walk around your block or around your local shopping mall. Get yourself a Hula Hoop! Heck, if nothing else, that would be worth a good laugh for me! Dance around your kitchen or bedroom, but whatever you do, DON’T just sit around and sulk. Activity is healthy! It increases your circulation, puts a glow on your skin, a shine in your hair, and might, eventually, even loosen your waistband. It makes you FEEL BETTER about yourself, which is what having a positive attitude is all about, as well.

         Thanks for reading this post. I’d love to hear any ADDITIONAL suggestions you can think of to get rid of a Negative Perspective or Attitude. PLEASE send any and all of them to me. If you have questions about me or my lessons, check out my website at www.SingitForward.net, AND if you have any more suggestions for upcoming blog post topics, send me those, too. I truly value you and your words. Have a great day, and remember…Sing it Forward! Next time, we’ll tackle ways to BE and STAY Positive.