Self-Esttem Re-Structuring, Part 2 - Building a Framework for Success in Yourself

Listening, interaction, participation, and homework make this program especially effective. To start, you need to write a one to two-page autobiography.  However, you are only allowed to describe yourself positively.  This does not mean overlooking faults, imperfections, or things you might wish to change; it means you need to find a way to describe everything about yourself in a positive way.  For example, a female might feel that features on one side of her face are ugly.  With this in mind, she might comment on the strength of the other side of her face.  Most things in life are about perception.  If things are always looked at the same way from the same perspective, how is it possible to ever see anything differently?  A weekend seminar called Discovery Training works with a strong motto, “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got,” (“Discovery!”).   This is too true and you need to understand this and take it to heart.  Looking out a window at a dog in a field, it can appear lonely.  However, looking at the same dog in the same field but from a window farther to the left or right, it is possible to change the perspective completely and see that the dog is, in fact, in terrible danger from a wolf charging across the farther side of the field or it could be a group of young children ready to play with the dog.  Perspective changes the whole picture.  The same is true when a person looks at him/herself in a different, more affirmative viewpoint.

            By way of understanding oneself even better, it is important to meditate and consider honestly those areas known as “insecurities”.  Insecurity represents any area a person feels unsure of or anything that one might be tempted to avoid due to a drought of confidence.  This could be any number of things from performing in front of strangers to the shape of one’s legs or fear memory will fail.  If you contact me (Cathy Riso) at SingitForward1@gmail.com, I will gladly send you a worksheet called “Doubts That Daunt”.  This is a convenient way to enumerate challenges and keep them centrally located.  It is important to understand and delineate any and all insecurities.  One important reason to perform this less than optimistic but straightforward exercise is to contribute more to a baseline for measuring progress later on.  It is also essential to begin to build perspective about these areas.  Working through this process allows you to see how illogical and unnecessary these are, which allows a stronger platform for moving forward positively.

            Most of the time, people compare themselves to other people.  Those people might be superstars; themselves in earlier days or a perfected version of him/herself; co-workers or other performers; other family members; or some ambiguous amalgam created by the subconscious.  It is very important to honestly assess and confess, not only the existence of these entities but also their traits and the expectations you associate with them.  For this, journaling is highly recommended.  Journaling is a positive way to think through observations, perceptions and presumptions, and the truth from fantasy.  Reading back through journal entries can be incredibly insightful, allowing a person to realize how “human” another person is and how very imperfect this phantasm is in reality.

            The next step is normally another worksheet called “Less Than Perfect Makes Perfectly Great”.  I warned you that this was going to take time and a lot of work but it is SO worth it.  Once again, email me at SingitForward1@gmail.com to receive a copy of this worksheet.   Filling out this sheet allows you to see how areas within your own personality that might be viewed as less than wonderful, can, in fact,  be turned around to comfort and encourage another person, thus creating a positive attribute from something you had previously viewed in a negative light.  Sometimes a person needs to see that overcoming the obstacles of low self-esteem can itself, be an encouragement to others who struggle with “self” issues.  One person’s bravery becomes contagious and beneficial to those who have yet to attain that valuable goal.  To aid and encourage you, I have available several other resources you can use as reference materials.  There are uplifting articles; quotes by all manner of celebrated personalities who have also struggled with insecurities; and quotes from many others.  The last resource is more homework, I’m afraid.  It is a sheet called “25 Things”.  This assignment requires meditation and complete honesty and openness.  You are asked to enumerate 25 things you like about yourself.  This is not, “I like that I’m popular.”  It can be anything from a positive observation about a particular ability or character trait, such as, “I like that I am a kind person,” to, “I think I have pretty feet” or “I’m good at cooking.”  The purpose of this list is to create a positive resource of truth you can duplicate, hide away, and refer to in times when courage and confidence are needed.

            Now that you have created a realistic baseline profile, one last thing remains to complete the foundation for re-structuring, building, and maintaining a positive, life-giving self-image; sharing intimate secrets can begin the process of opening up to others, being strong while being vulnerable, and allowing oneself to test boundaries without losing sight of strengths.  Therefore, there is one last resource in this section.  It is a sheet for chronicling one to three special secrets, never previously shared with others.  Though best in a small group setting, the you partner up with one other person and the two of you each share one of their secrets with the other person.  This is an opportunity for encouragement, compassion, learning to trust yourself and another person, as well as creating an accountability with another person, which can serve as a stalwart support for future trials.  It is also a resource you can use in the future to re-visit this momentous memory of intimacy shared with another individual or to remember the effect and empowerment gained through that vulnerability.  Once again, all of these resources can be yours by emailing me at SingitForward1@gmail.com.

            All the chronicling, list making, and soul searching required for this section carry benefits, which will multiply over many and varied areas in life, and specifically, for auditions. To complete this portion of the seminar, you need to put together two realistic descriptions:  one describes who you believe yourself to be presently; the second is the description of the person/characteristics you want to attain in the future.  It is often helpful to hear and see how others with challenges, meet those struggles and deal with them head-on.  Make sure you keep the prior resources handy as they really can serve to open your heart to possibilities and truths about yourself.  Winston Churchill was the Prime Minister of Great Britain during World War II, a truly fearsome and petrifying time for the world and Great Britain, in particular.  His many famous, encouraging words to British countrymen, and indeed, the world, guided millions through those treacherous times, (“Winston Churchill”).  Churchill struggled with what he called being “tongue-tied”.  He believed this condition was caused when his throat was “restrained by a ligament no one else has,” which may have been a tight sub-lingual frenulum.  However, the American Stuttering Foundation believes he stuttered, (Mather).  In any case, speech was quite a formidable task.  Yet, Winston Churchill is recognized as one of the great orators of his day because he persevered, practiced, and refused to give up.  If only one or two of the earlier quotes speak directly to you, that’s okay; it only takes a few well-placed words at the right moment, to re-focus and re-direct someone heading off course.  Very rarely are challenges so large that they require major changes.  Like driving, a major adjustment can throw a vehicle off-course as much as no adjustment.  Slight modifications or alterations are all that is needed for creating a smooth, excellent course.  I hope this program and its resources will begin to make you aware of how incredibly amazing you truly are.  Sing it Forward!